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« on: October 28, 2012, 09:09AM » |
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Madonna:
Pop
Paris Hilton:
Six
Gloria Gaynor:
Squish
Chloë Agnew:
Uh-uh
Martina McBride:
Cicero
Britney Spears:
Lipschitz
Madonna, Paris, Gloria and Britney:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
Martina:
I betcha you would have done the same!
Madonna:
You know how people have these little habits
That get you down? Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP.
So I came home this one day, and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy,
And there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin' gum. No, not chewin'. Poppin'.
So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did.
So, I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
Paris:
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago
And he told me he was single and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out, "single" he told me?
Single, my butt. Not only was he married...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that night,
When he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
Gloria:
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business,
And in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman," he says.
He was crazy and he kept screamin', "You been screwin' the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!
Chloë:
What am I doing here?
They say my famous lover held down my husband while I chopped off his head.
But, it isn't true, I am innocent.
I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it.
I tried to explain it at the police station but they didn't understand me.
Gloria:
Yeah, but did you do it?
Chloë:
Uh-uh! I'm not so happy
No, not so happy
Someone had framed me right along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They're wrong! I'M NOT GUILTY!
Martina:
My sister, Veronica and I did this double act
And my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in our act,
We did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
One, two, three, four, five...splits, spread eagles,
Back flips, flip flops, one right after the other.
So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin', havin' a few laughs
And we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.
I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands,
I even knew they were dead.
Britney:
I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...sensitive... a painter.
But he was always trying to find himself.
He'd go out every night looking for himself
And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.
All:
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
'Cause if they used us,
And they abused us,
How could you tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
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