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Author Topic: Misha's Return (Take 2)  (Read 2371 times)
Honorary Roadie
Posts: 3,427

Mairead and Misha- Pixies!

« on: October 28, 2015, 05:38AM »

(I apologize for the duplicate thread but I posted the first in the wrong place and can't move it)

Misha's Return
« on: Today at 05:45 AM »
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Hello everyone. Fair warning before I get into the meat and potatoes of this post. This will be a long one, though nothing like my show reviews. Also, there is a distinct reason I put this post into Members Helping Members.

Well let me say first that this post marks my official return to CWF. I realize I have been away for awhile and I so want to explain why. Last year was my final year at Roosevelt and that included student teaching. Due to some difficult decisions made by the school and resultant discrimination on the basis of my disability, I struggled significantly, particularly in the second half of the semester. (I am willing to talk specifics if someone is curious but I don't want to completely unload on you guys.

In April 2015 I hit a point where my workload compounded all of the other things that I struggle with on a regular basis and I stopped eating and sleeping. Finally on April 16, after a difficult day at work, a friend asked how I was doing and I broke down, shaking and crying. I went to counseling but was unable to stabilize and was seriously considering drastic measures. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital and admitted. I was formally diagnosed with severe recurrent depression and panic disorder. I spent a week and a half inpatient receiving intensive therapy and adjusting to medication. (I tweeted Mairead from the hospital computer to wish her a happy birthday…she favorited my tweet and it helped me through some really awful moments). I also was physically ill during my time on the psych floor.

I was released on April 25, just a few days prior to graduation. I had had to medically withdraw from classes and Roosevelt almost kicked me out but my professors intervened. I walked in my formal graduation ceremony on May 3, 2015. Chad and Sensei were there, as were my parents, grandmother, brother, and so many friends. I was also inducted into the Franklin Honor Society. I walked independently across the stage while I accepted my diploma.

Summer meant a return to student teaching and a return to some former students. This time, I completed the course successfully and so was able to enjoy summertime in Chicago. A major part of that enjoyment came from Sensei's graduation gift: he revealed that he had been in love with me for four years. We began a formal relationship, and it is truly wonderful. In August I moved into my own apartment in Peoria, and have slowly been healing and adjusting ever since. Blaine (Sensei's real name) has been a huge part of that. I went to see Blaine and his family in late August to celebrate my birthday and three days later as we sat at home after a day at the mall Blaine asked to talk to me and his parents. Imagine my surprise when he proceeded to get down on one knee and present me with a beautiful engagement ring, asking me to be his forever. I accepted, and we are marrying as soon as finances allow. He's been with me through good and bad times for us both, and he loves me in a deep accepting way I thought I would never find.

With so many good things beginning to outweigh my recent dark experiences, CW has slowly become something I can enjoy again. Before my hospitalization the anxiety and depression that almost made me end things were too strong and every time I tried to listen to a CD or watch one of the concerts, it was so painful (especially seeing and hearing Chloë and Lil Lambe), and I longed to go back to my meetings with them and feel their hugs and warm words again. Afterwards, the pain remained but had changed form as I was terrified that the circumstances of my treatment meant that I had broken my promise to the girls and that I would no longer have their love and support especially since I did not get to a show this year. I recognize this may be inaccurate.

Living on my own has been more difficult than I ever imagined and I still spend a lot of time in mental and physical pain. CW helps. So that's why I am returning. I apologize for my long and unexplained absence but I am glad to be back…if I'm still welcome that is.


Kimberly AJ
Choir Member
Posts: 17,394

Got any friends? Yes! Chloë's been found!

« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2015, 06:17PM »

Congratulations, Misha, I'm so happy you've achieved it. Smiley

Raving Meaviac
Featured Soloist
Posts: I am a geek!!

Vocal Perfection..... Thy Name Is Meav

« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2018, 11:58PM »

 Please come back if you can.   Cool

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