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Author Topic: Prayers, Please  (Read 24818 times)
Celtic Chan
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« on: April 21, 2018, 04:14PM »

I'm too emtional to explain everything that's going on right now, but I'm desperate need of some prayers and well wishes. I don't ask for these a lot, but my heart is hurting.
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Jim M.
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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2018, 04:21PM »

We are your friends -- let us know if we can help you. Smiley
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CWazyTom
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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2018, 05:56PM »

All my best wishes for you Chandler. If I can do anything else to help, please let me know. Hugs. <3
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« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2018, 08:39PM »

 You got it Chandler.    Sending positive thoughts your way.   xx
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Celtic Chan
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« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2018, 11:25PM »

Thanks so much, everyone, for the prayers and positive messages. It honestly means so much to me. <3 I am more stable now to talk about my situation, but I'm still heartbroken.

Yesterday, my boyfriend of 9 months and I went on a date. We rarely go out on dates, so I've been excited about this. I spent the whole week planning my outfit, wore my new dress, and spent about an hour or 2 doing my hair and makeup to look pretty for him. I can't remember the last time I got a compliment from my boyfriend, so I was really hoping he'd say something nice this time. Unsurprisingly, he didn't, which wouldn't of been a big deal if he didn't body-shame me, telling me that I was too petite and that he wants a curvy girl and pointing out parts of my body he wished were "bigger." This came as a shock to me because I've been the same size ever since we started dating. I've always been naturally skinny, and I've been very insecure about it lately because he often makes jokes about my body.

After our date, I went to his house. I tried to talk to him about the way he made me feel. I told him my feelings were hurt because I tried my best to look pretty for him just to receive insults. He wouldn't look at me or talk to me (he stonewalls when gets mad). After about 10 minutes of being ignored, I approached him and touched both of his shoulders to get his attention, so he lightly shoved me away, then threatened to kick me out of his house (it was about 1am at the time, and he was my only ride home.) I became scared because he started to shake and raise his voice. He told me that he didn't care. About an hour of me talking to him, he calmed down, and we became better.

That morning, he wanted to try having "relations" with me. I told him that I didn't want to because of the way he acted last night. He got mad again, so I called my dad to pick me up from his house. It's sad because this wasn't how this weekend was suppose to go. I had baked his favorite cookies in honor of our 9 month anniversary, and he told me to just throw them away. I've hardly talked to him since I left his house because he refuses to answer my calls or texts. We have not officially broken up, but I can feel it coming, and it's going to be devastating for me.

This is my first serious relationship, and he is my first love. I've dated him for 9 months, and I've known him for about 10 months. I know that doesn't sound like a long time, but it feels much longer to me because this is someone I talk to everyday and spend every weekend with, and the thought of breaking up scares me. When he's not in a mood, he's the greatest guy, but when he's mad, he's a totally different person. Our relationship used to be a dream, but it's been going downhill these past couple months. I just want it to go back to the way it used to be. I care about him a lot, and I hate fighting, so I often take the blame and apologize in order to move on (even when I feel that I'm right). Sometimes, I do it so much that I actually start to feel that everything is my fault. I've cried about our relationship way too many times over the months, but I don't want to give up yet. He goes to the army in a little over a month, so our time to strengthen our relationship is ticking, and I'm fearful that we won't be on good terms by the time he leaves. And when he does, I won't be able to see him for 12 weeks (possibly longer). I know our relationship will definitely deteriorate if he leaves while were like this.

I'm sorry for the long story and if it's too personal, but I consider you all as a family because I've been here for over 5 years, so I basically grew up on this forum. I just hope something will get better soon because this is by far the toughest thing I've ever had to go through.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2018, 11:41PM by Chandler Mattson » Logged
Kevin R.I.
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« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2018, 04:41AM »

You`ve probably heard the old saying " there are other fish in the sea"......it seems that you could find someone out there that would be a better "fit" for you.Think about it......is the tension and being upset really worth it?
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thanks EVI

Hi Kev, I sneeked into your account as you know, wanted to say: love you!!!!

Love, Evi.
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« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2018, 07:08AM »

 He sounds like a total jerk-wad Chandler.  There are so many  red flags here it's not even funny.  You are a lovely,sweet  young lady who deserves better.  He's trying to get you to do the dirty work for him, because he doesn't have the guts to set you free himself. So do it for him.  I'm sorry you had to be experiencing this, but take it as a life lesson.   Sad    But remember all of us who support you.  You are in my thoughts.   Smiley   
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Jim M.
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« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2018, 09:51AM »

I agree with Kevin and James.  Time to dump this jerk.  You will be better off without him.  Don't let anyone abuse you like that.
Also, I would not be alone with him.  He may be dangerous.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2018, 10:16PM by Jim M. » Logged
John910
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« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2018, 07:27PM »

Sending prayers.

A few things to add - remember him getting mad and problems in the relationship is NOT your fault.

From what you described he could be dangerous. Please do not be alone with him.

While we here on the forum are for you by way of prayers and support, you should also talk to someone in person. Have you talked or can you talk to your parents about what is going on? or if you are religious, a religious leader you trust or a school counselor (if you are in school)?

Also never be insecure about your body and do not let anyone else make you feel that way.



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Celtic Chan
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« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2018, 12:58AM »

First of all, I want to thank everone for the thoughts and prayers, everyone. Your messages helped me get through this difficult situation, and I really do appreciate them more than you all will ever know.

After reading all your messages, having long discussions with my parents and friends, I decided to end things with him yesterday. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make, but I knew that I had to and it was for the best. Of course, my heart is still hurting, but I am doing better than I have in these past few days, and I will continue to pray to God for strength.

I have been on this forum for 5 years now, and these past few days has showed me that it's more than just a group of people who love Celtic Woman, but we are all a family. <3
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Kevin R.I.
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« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2018, 04:30AM »

You did the right thing....there`s a "Mo Ghile Mear" out there , waiting just for you, you`ll see.
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thanks EVI

Hi Kev, I sneeked into your account as you know, wanted to say: love you!!!!

Love, Evi.
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« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2018, 04:34AM »

First of all, I want to thank everone for the thoughts and prayers, everyone. Your messages helped me get through this difficult situation, and I really do appreciate them more than you all will ever know.

After reading all your messages, having long discussions with my parents and friends, I decided to end things with him yesterday. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make, but I knew that I had to and it was for the best. Of course, my heart is still hurting, but I am doing better than I have in these past few days, and I will continue to pray to God for strength.

I have been on this forum for 5 years now, and these past few days has showed me that it's more than just a group of people who love Celtic Woman, but we are all a family. <3
You are right  about that Chandler.  We have seen you go through a lot in those years-even drama created by former members here that were giving you problems. It hurts now, but in the long run you will be stronger for it. Smiley 
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Celtic Chan
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Queen Méav


« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2018, 09:16AM »

You did the right thing....there`s a "Mo Ghile Mear" out there , waiting just for you, you`ll see.
Thanks, Kevin, that made me giggle. Cheesy
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Celtic Chan
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Queen Méav


« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2018, 09:17AM »

First of all, I want to thank everone for the thoughts and prayers, everyone. Your messages helped me get through this difficult situation, and I really do appreciate them more than you all will ever know.

After reading all your messages, having long discussions with my parents and friends, I decided to end things with him yesterday. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make, but I knew that I had to and it was for the best. Of course, my heart is still hurting, but I am doing better than I have in these past few days, and I will continue to pray to God for strength.

I have been on this forum for 5 years now, and these past few days has showed me that it's more than just a group of people who love Celtic Woman, but we are all a family. <3
You are right  about that Chandler.  We have seen you go through a lot in those years-even drama created by former members here that were giving you problems. It hurts now, but in the long run you will be stronger for it. Smiley 
Ooh, yes, I remember that. Cheesy Thanks, James. Smiley
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rfcw
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« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2018, 07:41PM »

For someone to expects you to do what he wants the next day after it gotten better to not accept get mad for you refusing for the moment time being just seems it's all about him a lot & not caring or invested in how you feel. Us here at the forum at least care about your opinions, your ideas, your viewpoints that's support passion not all about you & only your way...
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