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Author Topic: Prayers, Please  (Read 2565 times)
Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2018, 06:52AM »

For someone to expects you to do what he wants the next day after it gotten better to not accept get mad for you refusing for the moment time being just seems it's all about him a lot & not caring or invested in how you feel. Us here at the forum at least care about your opinions, your ideas, your viewpoints that's support passion not all about you & only your way...
I agree, he did believe it was al about him and didn't care about my feelings at all.
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Kevin R.I.
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« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2018, 11:12AM »

For someone to expects you to do what he wants the next day after it gotten better to not accept get mad for you refusing for the moment time being just seems it's all about him a lot & not caring or invested in how you feel. Us here at the forum at least care about your opinions, your ideas, your viewpoints that's support passion not all about you & only your way...
I agree, he did believe it was al about him and didn't care about my feelings at all.
  Sounds like you were dating Donald Trump  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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thanks EVI

Hi Kev, I sneeked into your account as you know, wanted to say: love you!!!!

Love, Evi.
Maloney
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« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2018, 12:24PM »

sometimes its hard to move forward. 
but each day brings new opportunities..
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=)  yes!! We got to go ! 
Then there was Atlanta !
Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2018, 03:46PM »

For someone to expects you to do what he wants the next day after it gotten better to not accept get mad for you refusing for the moment time being just seems it's all about him a lot & not caring or invested in how you feel. Us here at the forum at least care about your opinions, your ideas, your viewpoints that's support passion not all about you & only your way...
I agree, he did believe it was al about him and didn't care about my feelings at all.
  Sounds like you were dating Donald Trump  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
Now that just made me crack up! Cheesy
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Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2018, 03:47PM »

sometimes its hard to move forward. 
but each day brings new opportunities..
Smiley <3
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CWazyTom
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« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2018, 10:46PM »

I can't tell your heart what it wants or claim to fully understand what war must be raging inside you at the moment. My advice regarding relationships would be beyond useless. So I'll just offer this huge virtual hug instead. <3
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Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2018, 08:36AM »

I can't tell your heart what it wants or claim to fully understand what war must be raging inside you at the moment. My advice regarding relationships would be beyond useless. So I'll just offer this huge virtual hug instead. <3
Thanks, Tom. I'll take that! Smiley Hugs <3
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Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #22 on: April 27, 2018, 11:45PM »

Well, it's been an emotional week for me. I'm writing an update and this will be the last one, but I need somewhere to vent right now.

On Wednesday, I went to my ex's house (not alone) to return some items. The breakup went surprisingly well. There was no yelling or insults, and he even wanted to remain friends. I said that was fine, thinking it was just something that all exes say but never actually mean or follow through with. I kept him on social media because I didn't think anything of it, but I never made any plans to contact him until he messaged me first Wednesday night. He continued sending me messages throughout Thursday, but I seldom replied.

On Friday, he found out I had been chatting with a boy (just a friend), so my ex sent me a passive-agressive messages, basically saying he could care less about me and cursed at me. This was my breaking point. I unleashed everything that I've been bottling up inside. I told him he wasn't a good person because he lied to me all this time. He fooled me with charm in beginning then showed his true colors towards the end. It was all an act. I told him I had been nothing but a good girlfriend and put up with more than I should have. The last thing I ever said to him was that I don't think I truly loved him, but I loved the guy who he pretended to be. I do regret choosing this as my last words because he'll always be special to me, whether I like it or not. Also, it's very unlike me to say something so harsh, although I do believe it's true.

I understand this was NOT a good way to handle things. He still believes he has control over me (even after the breakup), and he still manages to find a way to hurt me when I thought I couldn't be hurt anymore. I just exploded. He has now blocked me on all social media (something that I should have done to begin with). I no longer have any form of contact with him, which is for the best. I guess he couldn't handle hearing the truth. I know now that I should have just cut off contact after the breakup, but I was fooled by charm yet again.

I am still hurt, but I'm getting better each day. It makes me sick to think about those 9 months of my life I spent with him, all the things I went out of my way to do for him, and all the stuff I put up with. I hope he realizes his mistakes one day. As of right now, I'm trying to keep myself busy to take my mind off of things. I do think it's a bit of a slap in the face that he blocked me when it should be the other way around. However, I feel as if I can truly move on now, knowing that I will never have to experience the anxiety of seeing another one of his messages pop up on my phone ever again.

Anyways, this will be the last rant that I will ever make about him. I just had to blow off some steam. I'm going to focus all my attention on healing now. This week has probably been one of the worst weeks of my life so far, but it's also been the most eye-opening because experiencing my first broken heart made me realize how many amazing and supportive family and friends I have who love me. I am so blessed. And thank you to everyone on this forum, who has sent me kind messages. Love you all <3
« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 03:35AM by Chandler Mattson » Logged
Kevin R.I.
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« Reply #23 on: April 28, 2018, 04:16AM »

You have a right to be angry but now the thing to do is put this BEHIND you.....it`s time for a "New Beginning"...hmmmm....where have I heard  that phrase before?
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thanks EVI

Hi Kev, I sneeked into your account as you know, wanted to say: love you!!!!

Love, Evi.
Chandler Mattson
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Posts: 8,646


Queen Méav


« Reply #24 on: April 28, 2018, 04:02PM »

You have a right to be angry but now the thing to do is put this BEHIND you.....it`s time for a "New Beginning"...hmmmm....where have I heard  that phrase before?
Yes, I agree. I woke up today feeling good and more positive, and I'm now looking forward to this new beginning. Hmm, I've heard that somewhere before. Cheesy
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Kevin R.I.
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« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2018, 04:09PM »

Now Chandler is about to embark on a NEW JOURNEY in search of Mo Ghile Mear......which she`ll find.....seems fitting for this forum.
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thanks EVI

Hi Kev, I sneeked into your account as you know, wanted to say: love you!!!!

Love, Evi.
Chandler Mattson
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Posts: 8,646


Queen Méav


« Reply #26 on: May 02, 2018, 09:28AM »

Now Chandler is about to embark on a NEW JOURNEY in search of Mo Ghile Mear......which she`ll find.....seems fitting for this forum.

That does seem very fitting! CheesyGrin
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Raving Meaviac
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Vocal Perfection..... Thy Name Is Meav


« Reply #27 on: May 02, 2018, 02:31PM »

 As I said before Chandler, regard this as a learning experience. And it does sound like you have-especially about yourself and what you need and also about boundaries.  It's been difficult for you, I know, but I think you have experienced some personal growth here. You have been through a lot here on the forum  over the years.  Here is a Meav song that came to mind about the poor selkie  who is trapped in a loveless relationship. You know this song well....   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R1oBPJmDbI     btw... I am proud of you Chandler.  Smiley   
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Chandler Mattson
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Queen Méav


« Reply #28 on: May 02, 2018, 06:30PM »

As I said before Chandler, regard this as a learning experience. And it does sound like you have-especially about yourself and what you need and also about boundaries.  It's been difficult for you, I know, but I think you have experienced some personal growth here. You have been through a lot here on the forum  over the years.  Here is a Meav song that came to mind about the poor selkie  who is trapped in a loveless relationship. You know this song well....   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R1oBPJmDbI     btw... I am proud of you Chandler.  Smiley   

It has indeed been difficult, but I'm feeling more myself and better each day and have gained more confidence since the toxic relationship ended. My friends say they have even noticed a positive change in me. Thanks for the song recommendation - I just love this beautiful song sung by our dear Méav, and I'm listening to it right now as I type! Grin

And thank you so much, James, that really does mean a lot to hear from you. Smiley
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