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« on: April 19, 2008, 04:50PM » |
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1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2008, 05:25PM » |
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thats funny, I love the mouse trap one!  |
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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2008, 05:42PM » |
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those are hilarious!! did u make them up yourself or find them?
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  Thanks Jeff and Snookie for the banners! |
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« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2008, 06:09PM » |
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those are hilarious!! did u make them up yourself or find them?
A friend emails these things to me all of the time. I could post about a couple dozen of them! |
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« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2008, 07:18PM » |
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That's super funny, Anderpaw!!!!  |
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Decode....  |
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« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2008, 07:52PM » |
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  Thanks,Guardian and Annie! 8/17/10 Finally met Rosie Allen! Thanks,CW! |
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« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2008, 08:18PM » |
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Surely put a smile on my face!! |
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« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2010, 12:05AM » |
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HAHAHA JUST SAW THIS!!!!
HILARIOUS!!!!!
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« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2010, 01:19AM » |
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« Reply #12 on: June 16, 2010, 11:41AM » |
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thye mouse trap doesnt seem all that effective to me
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  Yes it's raining. Why do you think Ireland is so green, pixie dust? I can not believe you just nodded your head. *exasperated sigh* |
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